Let Us Lead With Love

I am proud to love a trans kid, and am so very excited to support him on this day — International Transgender Day of Visibility. OMG, this kid is special, he deserves a cake, 10,000 hugs, a parade and a million dollars. Alas, just a cake will have to do, the thousands of hugs will have to wait till next year, or when Covid is over.

But what a cake it is!!

I hope one day you get the opportunity to support, embrace, honor, celebrate and advocate for someone trans or non-binary, too. You may think you don’t know anyone trans, but I’d bet you do. I’d bet that someone within your sphere, or down the block, or in your school or office falls into this category, so often marginalized and othered. I recommend choosing to be an ally even if you don’t know anyone. Because, I think it’s pretty obvious that everyone wins when we lead with love.

I have the great honor of being in the life of one of the brightest, spunkiest, funniest, smartest, kindest, and most incredible kids on earth. Who just happens to have been born to a body that just never quite fit. Some people think a 10 year old is too young to know. But anyone who has ever met him knows that he’s known much longer. He simply waited until he was ready to dive in and truly be himself.

This sweet child, who came into the world on his terms, simply waited until he was ready. It was his decision. And it is glorious. I was in the room when he was born, and held my sisters hand as she slowly processed the unimaginable news — that her baby was gonna be born before she had the chance to get her epidural. ;) Yep. At the time that was the only thing that seemed off-kilter on that day.

How would we have known?

This baby had plans from the start. Big plans. Couldn’t wait to make an entrance. He was born within 20 minutes of getting to the hospital. If you’ve never seen a baby born that quickly, you cannot understand the level of chaos. I stood by my sister’s side as the doctor came in and started pulling out all the gear, and putting on their little booties and getting the instruments. I chuckled as the nurse was still typing in names and insurance info when my sister asked about her epidural. Because that’s when I knew that shit was getting real. Doctors are baby catchers, not instrument grabbers. This precious child was on the move.

On that day we held a baby, and on this day we support a child. The only differences are name and pronouns. The love is the same, as it should be. I was gifted the opportunity of being one of the first people he told. With his little voice, maybe four years old, he told me he thought he should’ve been born with a penis. And I told him that was great, that he was little, and there was lots of time to just be a kid. There was no need to make a decision. That being happy was perhaps the most important thing to strive for.

This precious child went to the princess ball with his older sister, while dressed as Spiderman. He always preferred short hair. He wore superhero costumes. To me, this is about as surprising as the sun coming up every morning.

This little dude is so loved. And supported, and seen. From day one, nothing but LOVE.

I hope you can find it in your heart today, and always, to support trans kids. To accept trans adults. To include non-binary people. And to invite everyone to your table.

Colorful cakes are fun. Celebrations are like magic. And support is basically free medicine and therapy for our souls. If you don’t have family supporting you, know that there’s a middle-aged mom in Minnesota giving you a hug, and rooting for you. Someday come knock on my door and I’ll hug you in person. Just don’t call me middle-aged, those are fighting words only I can use on myself.

Happy day, indeed.

PS: If you need a beautiful cake, I know someone happy to bake for you! Check out Morningside Cakes on Insta. This beautiful human even made grandma a gluten free cake when she heard she could not eat gluten. I’ll be getting a paleo cake for my birthday!!

PPS: What’s a party without treats for the kids we are celebrating, or cookies for the family dog? I got an adorable cupcake dog cookie, and You’re My Hero chocolate bars at Serge+Jane. My nephew is my hero, and he needed to know!!

PPS: This is posted with my nephew’s and sister’s approval. There were other trans families present, but their stories belong to them. I’ll write them a love letter someday, if they wish.