Ain’t no Fire Like a Dumpster Fire
Some years are good. Some years are better. And some years are basically a gigantic flaming dumpster fire. Controlled, uncontrolled—who cares?! It’s getting hot in here, so it’s time to walk through the fire and start the new year fresh, strong and happy. Bye Felicia, er, 2019. You were a flaming pile of shit, but thankfully the last quarter perked up. I met some great people, got a job that made sense for me professionally and emotionally, started therapy for the first time, and leaned on some pretty amazing friends along the way. And, a few leaned on me, too. Because that’s how it works—we show up for each other. We share the good years, and the silly stupid ones, too.
As I sit here, basking in the glow of my flames, soaking up the last whispers of the holiday season, facing New Year’s resolutions, reflections and intentions— I have a confession. If I’m being fully honest, I’d have to admit that while my year was magnificently sub par, it was admittedly manageable. And for this I am grateful. Beyond grateful. Why? Because I have a friend who spent the first part of the year recovering from suicidal ideation; another who spent the year picking up the pieces of her heart after the death of her mother; two who faced cancer diagnoses; one with a brain tumor; another who lost a spouse; and another two or three who, like me, just sat on the couch binging Netflix and feeling lost in the face of looming middle age during the never ending polar vortex. I could go on, but why bother, you get the point.
News flash, spoiler alert, “Extra, Extra, Read All About It”—life ain‘t perfect, or fair, or even close to what we planned. But that’s ok. Somehow age teaches us this with every passing year—perfection is not the goal. The good news, and there is always good news, life and experience also teaches us that we can move beyond the bullshit. We can thrive in spite of endless stress, and needless worry. And just like Colin and Mary in “The Secret Garden,” or that crazy galoot Ralph from the internet—if we believe in a better day, we can achieve a better day.
So, with this new found energy and optimism—2020, I’m ready for you!! May the next year be the best year, yet. And may we always remember to make room for each other, and show up with buckets of water when our friends are thirsty, exhausted, or in need of a little help extinguishing their own fires.
As for the ornament, I could have made it tidy. I could have followed a pattern. I suppose I could have just tried a little harder. But I didn’t—because it’s a dumpster fire, dumb ass! It’s not a rainbow, or a unicorn, or an angel. It’s not supposed to be meticulously crafted, carefully planned or perfectly plotted. Life is just that way. Un-plannable.
The beauty of a true dumpster fire is that even in the chaos, it throws heat. May this one also bring laughter. I plan to look back at this and laugh my ass off—one day.
Heather Heier Lane is a mother of two amazing kids, a newly minted autism advocate, and a lifelong lover of underdogs. With an impressively long list of things she cannot eat due to Hashimoto’s disease (gluten, dairy, soy, corn, peanuts, sugar, grain) she took one for the team and valiantly managed to put on weight this holiday season, proving that she does indeed possess a true superpower. Keep the faith people, you too can achieve great things.
